Moved Again
This brief stint at xanga is over
Yes, I am extremely painfully fickle

I sometimes feel stabs of guilt for knowing that I'd choose you over and above anyone else. Or even everyone else. Then I think about it and I realise, it's because you're not just my _ , but now you're my closest friend, and everything I've got. Ever since the day we said we'd work things out, they've worked out perfectly to me, and you've made me the happiest girl alive every single bloody day, even if we don't get to spend much time together. And it's times like this when there's so much shit going round in all the 'social circles' that I'm just so darn grateful I have you

Cause right now you're the ONLY person in the universe whom I'm counting on to be there for me. No, not because of trust issues, but frankly because I don't need anybody else. When I think about you, then I think about all the problems I have with other people... I don't really give a damn about them any longer. Which I guess is wrong in some way, but who cares

I'm not the easiest person to love
(You're my hero, for loving me anyway)

Today (3rd July)

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH
BEN TEO

Yesterday (2nd July)

HAPPY FANTASTIC (VERY BIG NUMBER)TH
DADDY

HAPPY EXQUISITE EIGHTEENTH
FION

Tomorrow (4th July)

HAPPY SUPER SEVENTEENTH
ANGE KHOO

Love you all, wonderful people x1000000
Apologies for the lack of dedications and I'm sure I'll get round to them eventually.

And crap, there's my no-computer ban pact broken.
It resumes now.
STUDY!

I learned a totally ironic lesson on trust yesterday. I was looking at some old chat logs and the things you said. To quote you, "sometimes you really gotta open up yea? cos its really sad if no one really knows you". You know, I actually listened to you. I really believed you'd be the friend to teach me & see me through everything. It's ironic that after yesterday, I now know that even the closest can get too close for comfort. You think people know you and that they'll stand up for who you are, but you can be so wrong. This is precisely why I have trust issues the way I do. Sucks that I know I won't ever be able to bring myself to trust you again.

And to you,
I'm not going to control your life but I am going to control mine, very realistically. And since you're a part of it, so be it. I will try. I will do my best, for you. Like I promised. And you'll keep to your end of the bargain. But in time, if decisions that no one else wants to make have to be made, I will make them for real. Fingers crossed that it won't happen, but I'm sorry if it does and people get hurt in the process. I know I will.

"It isn't wrong to know that you can be strong on your own, just because people expect you to need someone. A status is just a status. The definition of love is different to each person who has felt it. You shouldn't feel like you don't measure up or you aren't suited for this just cause you don't meet societal expectations with regard to emotion. Don't give yourself a hard time because it only becomes a mistake when you start believing that it is. And it isn't wrong to do what you think is best just because no one else agrees. Sure, you'll lose friendships. Everyone will hurt. But from my point of view, at least you'll know you stayed true to your own judgment. So I think you should start afresh and give yourself a chance, but if you realise that the chance wasn't really what you needed, you shouldn't be scared of turning back. If people call you a quitter, let them. As long as you know you quit for the right reasons, you'll be okay."

Thank you SO MUCH for that & for everything else we chatted about yesterday Nicholas. Even the nonsense. It's almost freaky how much sense you made. Which was hell, a lot. Thanks for the super motivating speech and advice. Cheers! :)

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year

But
I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before
I'll be there for you, because you're there for me too

FRIENDS :) I could watch a trillion reruns and never get tired of them

Monica: Chandler, In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best, my best - There's a reason why girls don't do this!

Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?